"climbing up the walls"

“Why won’t they leave me be,” she asked, although she was quite alone. “Why won’t they – leave me be,” she asked the empty room. “They will not let go. And they do not realize their strength.” Her tone was hushed and solemn, though she spoke aloud. She feared the consequences should her words be heard – but more so should they go unsaid.

She could feel it – in her bones. The weight of the walls and windows and ceiling –oh, the ceiling!— pressing in on her, pushing her down. The throb of life, of activity all around her –seeping in through the cracks in the door jam and the window sills- affected her deeply. She harbored an intensity of emotion unfamiliar to most. She could feel them all – their pain, joy, triumphs, shortcomings. It came to her and nested inside her. The intensity of the world burrowed into her bones. “It’s as if I’m at the bottom of the pool, so deep my veins throb and my heartbeat is in my head. I can’t bear the pressure, but I can’t let go. I don’t know how. I can’t - let go.” This was all she could say when she got this way, but they did not understand.

[photo via toast]